[Mb-civic] In Praise of Unruly Women

[Barbara Siomos]

Thank you Arianna... I love your being outspoken as I love Teresa
Heinz-Kerrys.... Thank you.

barbara

IN PRAISE OF UNRULY WOMEN 
By Arianna Huffington 

Teresa Heinz Kerry is a breath of fresh air, so why are the media
choking on it?
 
Almost every story about her these days includes at least one snarky
remark - usually attacking her for her refusal to endlessly regurgitate
the same preapproved talking points.
 
According to the chattering class, Heinz Kerry is - and I quote - "too
outspoken," "too opinionated," "slightly zany," "eccentric and
unpredictable," "the queen of direct" and - cover your ears, kids -
"says what she thinks, when she thinks it." 
In other words, she's an unconventional straight shooter. The horror! 

(Reporters also seem to have a big problem with her hair, which has
variously been described as "unkempt," "unruly," "humidity-frizzed,"
"voluminous" and "expensively colored a rich auburn" - but that's
follicle fodder for another column.) 

Even Maureen Dowd, no slouch herself in the independent-thinking
department, felt compelled to write not one but two columns in the
course of 10 days slamming Teresa for, among other things, being
"flaky." 
You gotta love this about our media mavens: They are constantly
bemoaning the lack of forthrightness in our pubic figures - the vast
majority of whom wouldn't know a straight answer if it bit them in the
butt. But when they are finally presented with someone who doesn't
(pardon the expression) beat around the bush, they start sharpening the
long knives.
 
They're like a bunch of little kids who have gotten so used to being fed
nothing but vanilla ice cream for dessert that a serving of Rocky Road
with some sprinkles on top leaves them sputtering and crying, "Yuck!" 

Most of the American public, on the other hand, possess a far more
developed and discerning palate - and can appreciate more complex and
piquant flavors. 

And when it comes to spicing up the political dessert tray, Teresa Heinz
Kerry is one of the most flavorful and compelling public figures to hit
the national stage in decades. 

When I first met her in Washington in 1980, she was a very popular
Republican wife, with views very similar to the ones she holds today.
Now she's a Democratic wife, a philanthropist who oversees a foundation
that gives tens of millions to causes like the environment, healthcare
and early education, a loving mother, grandmother and stepmother. She
grew up in Mozambique, went to college in South Africa where she marched
against apartheid, is fluent in five languages, and learned so much
about medicine from her oncologist father that friends and family have
nicknamed her "Dr. T." 
And unlike most politicians, she has a natural gift for intimacy and
interacts with campaign crowds of 5,000 as if she were sitting around
chatting with a small group of friends. 
Yes, she is indeed unabashedly open with her opinions on everything from
the war in Iraq ("I would never have gone to war this way") to George
Bush ("fazed by complexity") to Botox treatments (she's had them). 
But isn't that what we claim to want from those in public life? Or are
we comfortable with authenticity only when it's a contrivance
manufactured to appear authentic? 
"I am the product of living in dictatorships," Teresa has said. "It
makes you cherish the ability to be yourself, to have feelings and to
speak them when asked. People say I'm blunt. I say, 'No, just honest.'" 
It's this honesty that has led the media to brand her with the scarlet O
for offbeat - a caricature given national credence by a Newsweek cover
that trumpeted: "Is John Kerry's Heiress Wife a Loose Cannon or Crazy
Like a Fox?" 
It was character assassination by headline - especially since the cover
line was not in any way reflective of the story inside, which painted
Heinz Kerry as warm, smart, alive, funny, and, yes, brutally honest. 
It's hard to imagine that headline - which was, incidentally, written by
a man - being used to describe a man. As Marlo Thomas once said: "A man
has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is
put you on hold." 
We may have come a long way, baby, but there is no doubt that there is
still a double standard when it comes to women in politics - especially
political wives - who are supposed to be smart but not so smart that
they're threatening, and strong but not so strong that they are
intimidating. 
It's a high-wire tightrope act, one that's almost impossible to pull off
to the political media's satisfaction. And this at a time when girl
power is blossoming in other parts of our culture, especially sports and
entertainment. Last week's Olympic Trials featured women going faster,
higher, stronger than ever before. And our movie screens are filled with
indomitable, determined women like "Kill Bill's" Beatrix Kiddo or Keira
Knightley's kick-ass Guinevere in the new "King Arthur." 
But try to apply these attributes to politics and the media start acting
like it's 1958 - they suddenly don't know how to handle smart,
accomplished, complex women. Judy Dean wasn't glamorous or supportive
enough, Hillary was too smart and too strong, and Teresa is too
loose-lipped and too unpredictable. 
So it really isn't much of a surprise that the political wife the media
seem most comfortable with is Laura Bush, who has chosen to take on the
image of the perfect 1950s sitcom housewife. 
She's the Harriet Nelson of first ladies, the quintessential deferential
spouse, praised by her husband for not "trying to butt in and always,
you know, compete" and lauded by the media for her ability "to balance
strength and subservience." I guess I missed the moment where
subservience became a virtue. 
When Laura Bush was asked what advice she'd given her twin daughters
before sending them out this summer to campaign for their father, she
replied: "Stand up straight and keep your hair out of your eyes." Words
to live by - if you're Marabel Morgan. Somehow I don't think those are
the same words of wisdom Teresa Heinz Kerry passed on to her
stepdaughters before they hit the hustings. 
Both Teresa and Laura are scheduled to deliver primetime speeches at
their respective party conventions. The contrast between the two - and
what this contrast says about the men in their lives - should be stark.
Out on the campaign trail, Teresa is given to in-depth discussions about
health care and global warming. Laura tends to say things like: "I'm not
privy to the policy disputes. I'm not over there at the table where
everyone is actually formulating specific policy." Heaven forbid. 
"We need to honor women in all their complexity," Teresa Heinz Kerry
told me. "It's time that we acknowledge the wisdom women have acquired
by managing the chaos of daily life. Women are realists, the glue that
holds society together. They bring a reverence to life that's
instinctual, not just intellectual." 
Thirty-eight million women didn't vote in 2000, many of them because
they were so disgusted with our inauthentic politics-as-usual. If even a
small percentage of them turn out this November, they could very well
end up deciding the election and the direction of the country. 
So I propose that we turn on its ear the traditional good-old-boy
political litmus test - which candidate would you rather have a beer
with? Instead, let's ask the women of America: which candidate's wife
would you rather have a cup of coffee with? 
© 2004 ARIANNA HUFFINGTON.
www.ariannaonline.com 
DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC. 
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