[Mb-civic] Re: nukes

[Cheeseburger]

Re: nukes



mha atma wrote:


=======
Cheeseburger, whoever you are, the elegant crudeness of your
comments well matches the subject matter and I hereby award you the
McNuke award for righteous indignation against idiocy.
--mha atma
(PS--to clarify-- i do mean that as a compliment!)
========



Cheeseburger, upon hearing the "You've got mail..!!" thingy, removes the
noose from his neck, steps down from the box his "guaranteed for 40 years"
Cheetohs came, opens the email, sits down in front of his lame computer,
rolls a nice spliff of something he kept in a sock for 40 years, and ponders
"Who am I...?".  He doesn't really know anymore it seems.  A tear rolls down
his eye but is quickly picked up and flown away by the awaiting demons.  He
presses the "Reconstitute" button on his keyboard, and the nanorobots go to
work on the image and reconstitute the McNuke award from 2 dimensions.  He
gingerly raises the lid to his Reconsitution chamber, pulls out the McNuke
award, walks over to his shelves, pushes his "I am the Terror that Evil
fears" award to one side, scrapes the dust slowly away with his food stamp
card, places the McNuke award on the shelf and stares at it.  He takes
another slow drag off of his most recent rolled item, and glances to the
right where sits a photograph of all the really truly evil people of the
world smiling and laughing which they sent him last Christmas.  He reads the
inscription "Hey, Cheese, with all your power, we give thanks again to God
and Heaven who we either don't believe in or scorn daily, that you were
given an indelible soul and weren't made like us, which basically gives us
free reign over the entire planet, *sshole."  Cheeseburger exhales.  A cloud
of smoke surrounds his head.  For a second he thinks that he sees some
cryptic message from a higher being emanating within the smoke, but then
realizes it is just the reflective light of the "Eat At Exxon's" blimp
slowly floating above his house vying for space between the intelligence
operations, ufo guys, demons, and the devil himself.  "There is only so much
room for advertising, boys" he mutters to himself.  He sits on the floor,
opens the Cheetohs box, pulls out a handful of tasty crunchy orange chemical
treats, pops them in his mouth and ponders "I'll never figure out who I am.
The real question is who is everyone else...."


"Uh, Uncle Cheeseburger.....??"
"Yes, kids....?"
"Uh, can we have our joint back now....?"
"Oh, wow, hehe, yeah, sure, here...."
"Thank you, Uncle Cheeseburger..."
"You're welcome, kids..."
"Did you really get a McNuke award, Uncle Cheeseburger...?"
"Yes, yes I did...."
"Did it glow in the dark....?"
"Yes, yes it did, just like everything else does these days..."
"Cool..."
"Yeah, it was something, I was standing on top of my Cheetohs box with a
noose hanging around my neck when the email came in.  If it wasn't for that
and the nanorobots reconstituting it, I wouldn't be here telling you this
story..."
"That's strange..."
"Yes, yes it is...  Can I have another toke..."
"No, you've had enough, we're saving the rest for the weekend..."
"Ah, ok, well, night, kids...."
"Night, Uncle Cheeseburger...."

Click. Slam.  Walk walk walk walk.



"Is the world really full of idiots...?"
"Yes, yes it is...."
"Did Uncle Cheeseburger really get a McNuke award...?"
"Yes, yes he did...  I've seen it..."
"Was he really The Terror That Evil Fears..."
"Yes, yes he was, I saw that award also..."
"He's something else, isn't he...?"
"Yes, yes he is..."
"I just wish he'd get his own stash though..."
"Yeah, me too...."
"Well, night, Jimi...."
"Night, Judi....."


The cricket begins to softly glow in its cage.........





Cheeseburger

.