[Mb-civic] OP-ED COLUMNIST Inherit the Windbags By MAUREEN DOWD

[Michael Butler]

 The New York Times
February 3, 2005
OP-ED COLUMNIST
Inherit the Windbags
By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

Do male nipples prove evolution?

Not at all, according to a Web site for a planned Creation Museum devoted to
showing that the Bible is literally true.

Nipples may be biologically de trop for men, an "expert" on the site notes,
but that doesn't mean they resulted from natural selection. They could just
as well be a decorating feature of the Creator's (like a hood ornament). Who
are we to question His designs, since we cannot presume to comprehend His
mind?

The virtual tour of the museum, to be built in rural Kentucky, says its
exhibits will explain many such mysteries, like the claim that T. rex lurked
around Adam and Eve - "That's the terror that Adam's sin unleashed!" - and
how "Noah and his family survive 371 days alone on an animal-filled boat"
("a real 'Survivor' story").

The philosophy of the Creation Museum, part of the "Answers in Genesis"
ministry, is summed up this way: "The imprint of the Creator is all around
us. And the Bible's clear - heaven and earth in six 24-hour days, earth
before sun, birds before lizards. Other surprises are just around the
corner. Adam and apes share the same birthday. The first man walked with
dinosaurs and named them all! God's Word is true, or evolution is true. No
millions of years. There's no room for compromise."

Personally, I've decided to stop evolving. No point, really. Evolution is so
20th century.

As with Iraq, President Bush has applied his doctrine of pre-emption on
evolution, cutting it off before it can pose a threat to our well-being.

Ever since he observed during his 2000 campaign that "on the issue of
evolution, the verdict is still out on how God created the earth," Mr. Bush
has been reeling backward as fast as he can toward the Garden of Eden,
which, if creationists are to be believed, was really "Jurassic Park."

Seeing the powerful role of evangelicals in getting Mr. Bush re-elected,
teachers across the country are quietly ignoring evolution, even when the
subject is in their curriculums.

Many teachers take the hint on evolution even without overt pressure,
Cornelia Dean wrote this week in Science Times: "Teachers themselves avoid
the topic, fearing protests."

On eBay, you can even find replicas of the stickers that a Georgia county
put on science textbooks to warn that evolution is "a theory, not a fact."
Talk about sticker shock.

So much for the Tree of Knowledge. Mr. Bush gives us the Ficus of Faith.

I knew the president, Dick Cheney and Newt Gingrich wanted to wipe out the
psychedelic "if it feels good do it" post-Vietnam 60's and go back to the
black-and-white 50's - a meaner "Happy Days."

They wanted to yank us back in a time machine to a place before Vietnam was
lost, free love was found, Roe v. Wade was enacted; they could roll back
science to smother stem cells' promise. (Since it was reported last week
that all human embryonic lines approved for federally financed research are
tainted with a foreign molecule from mice, the administration can't even
feign an interest in scientific progress. Who'd a-thunk that science's great
hope would turn out to be Arnold Schwarzenegger?)

I misunderestimated this ambitious president. His social engineering schemes
in the Middle East and America are breathtakingly brazen.

He doesn't just want to dismantle the 60's. He wants to dismantle the whole
century - from the Scopes trial to Social Security. He can shred one of the
greatest achievements of the New Deal and then go after other big safety-net
Democratic programs, reversing the prevailing philosophy of many decades
that our tax and social welfare systems should equalize the distribution of
wealth, just a little bit. Barry Goldwater wouldn't have had the brass to
take a jackhammer to that edifice.

The White House seems to think Social Security was corrupt from the moment
it was enacted in 1935. It wants to replace it with private accounts that
will fatten the wallets of stockbrokers and put the savings of Americans who
didn't inherit vast fortunes at risk.

Mr. Bush and his crew not only want to scrap the New Deal. By weakening
environmental and safety protections and trying to flatten the progressive
income tax, they're trying to eradicate not just one Roosevelt but two,
going after the progressive legacy of Theodore.

With their brutal assault on history and their sanctimonious manner, they
give a whole new meaning to Teddy's philosophy of the presidency. Bully
pulpit, indeed.

E-mail: liberties at nytimes.com

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