[Mb-civic] Fw: It could happen...

[Ian]

This is not nearly so far-fetched as it might first appear...

Food for thought (no pun intended).

Peace.

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ORDERING PIZZA IN 2008 
  
This is so close to what is probably going to happen by 2008 that we're not sure how funny this really is... 
 
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number? 
  
Customer:  Hi, I'd like to place an order. 
  
Operator:  I must have your NIDN first, sir. 
  
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610. 
  
Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 
745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is sheehan at home.net .  Which number are you calling from sir? 
  
Customer: Huh?  I'm at home.  Where'd you get all this information? 
  
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir. 
  
Customer: The HSS, what is that? 
  
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir.  This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time. 
  
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas. 
  
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir. 
  
Customer: Whaddya mean? 
  
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.  Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice. 
  
Customer: What?!?!  What do you recommend, then ? 
  
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it. 
  
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that? 
  
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir.  That's why I made the suggestion. 
  
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. 
     
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids.  Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir.  Your total is $49.99. 
  
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number. 
  
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit. 
  
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here. 
  
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also. 
  
Customer: Never mind!  Just send the pizzas.  I'll have the cash ready.  How long will it take? 
  
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir.  If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward. 
  
Customer: Wait!  How do you know I ride a bike? 
  
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed.  But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday. 
  
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@# 
  
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge.  Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility.  Is this your first pizza since your return to society? 
  
Customer: (speechless) 
  
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir? 
  
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke. 
  
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
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