[Mb-civic] Why Christian Women Give The Best Blowjobs

[Ian]

Cheese:

Need I say that this is the most unnecessarily offensive thing you have
every posted - even to those of us who do not subscribe to the "right-wing"
Christian agenda?  Indeed, it is simply mean-spirited and insulting, and
doesn't even have the benefit of being funny or thoughtfully provocative of
some sort of discussion or debate.

This is seriously a new low for you...  How sad...  Maybe you need to find
some different grass...

Peace.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cheeseburger" <maxfury at granderiver.net>
To: <mb-civic at islandlists.com>
Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 12:25 AM
Subject: [Mb-civic] Why Christian Women Give The Best Blowjobs


> Why Christian Women Give The Best Blowjobs
>
>
> Uhhh...    hehe.......    :)
>
> I just thought of that phrase (for some odd reason, lol) and began
thinking
> about it, and was wondering if Christian women really *do* give the best
> blowjobs.
>
> I was trying to figure out if it was a sin to go to church and worship
God,
> Jesus, whomever, then come home, cook dinner, and crawl into bed and wrap
> the same lips that were praising God a few hours ago around a penis.
>
> :|
>
> I pondered it a little bit more, and came to the conclusion that since
they
> are in the "holy state of matrimony" that God probably doesn't count it as
a
> sin to use the same mouth that praises him to lure sperm out of some
floppy
> thing.
>
> But then again, I wasn't sure, so I thought about it a little bit more.
>
> If anyone knows anything about Christians, then you already know that
=most=
> Christian "couples" are just that, a team.  Two bodies, one Christian
brain.
>
> I was thinking about the propaganda that spewed forth from my neighbor's
> mouth right before this last Presidential election, where he came over in
my
> yard and began a litany of informational outgivings about how gay people
> were bad, democrats were bad, democrats liked gay people, welfare was bad,
> food stamps were bad, everything was bad.
>
> And, of course as I have previously related here, I asked him where he got
> all that from and he replied "It was the sermon today in Church".
>
> The "sermon" consisted basically of the entire Republican Platform, which
> was succinctly handed down to every minister, preacher, pastor etc in the
> USA with instructions to find some way to relate all that to their
> congregations before election day rolled around.
>
> And, well, I dunno, it just all kind of tied in together somehow, thinking
> about all those Christian mouths rattling off condemnation after
> condemnation, backstab after backstab, betrayal after betrayal,
ruthlessness
> after ruthlessness, gossip crap after gossip crap, etc after etc,
endlessly,
> at the drop of a hat, after worshipping God in the church, and then I just
> came to the conclusion that when a ("some", lol) Christian woman wraps her
> lips around a penis late at night and coaxes out that evasive milky fluid
> that the angels are probably singing in unison because the venom that
> normally comes out of such holy mouths was stayed for at least a few brief
> moments.
>
> And then I remembered that I had lit a joint and it was so good that it
had
> been sitting in the ashtray for 20 minutes and I forgot about it.
>
> And then I thought about it a little more.
>
> And came to the conclusion that one reason ("some", lol) Christian women
> probably give the best blowjobs is that they want to make it *really* good
> so they can get back as quickly as possible to doing with their mouths
what
> they like doing the most.
>
> Destroying anything that isn't Perfect like them.
>
> Other than that, I simply ran out of subject matters this weekend and had
to
> make something up.
>
> I'm sure after reading this story that you will be staring at women's lips
> at work all this coming week and wondering, but that is simply par for the
> course.
>
> If you're thinking about exchanging your current spouse for a Christian
one
> simply because you are transfixed about getting some of the best blowjobs
> you have ever had in your life, all you will be trading is your immortal
> soul for the pleasure, and everything before and after the blowjob will be
a
> living hell, but, hey, if you're even seriously considering it for a
moment,
> it is probably a trade up for you.
>
> Have a nice week.  Try not to stare at women's lips.
>
> :)
>
>
>
>
> Cheeseburger
>
> - Jesus loves you.  I just still can't figure out how you keep him out
from
> under the covers with you late at night though...     :|
>
> .
>
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