[Mb-civic] As Beth Blows Her Brains Out

Sat Mar 5 12:34:43 PST 2005

Sorry about your local girl Beth Cheeseburger.... one just never knows what another is going through IF they do not share.

peace,
barbara

-----Original Message-----
From: Cheeseburger
Sent: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 22:15:16 -0800
To: mb-civic
Subject: [Mb-civic] As Beth Blows Her Brains Out

As Beth Blows Her Brains Out

Oh well.

Yawn.....

Death has become so commonplace that I had to train my soul not to die from
simple grief every time I turn around and see it take someone else I know

Although it might be considered a "sin" to be emotionless to such things, it
surely cannot be bad to at least control one's emotions at least to the
point where they avoid insanity in the process of remaining a living witness
to the...  to the...   well...  to the whole thing.

People leading the cleanest lives in the world dying from the worst cancer
known to mankind.  Old soldiers dying from bedsores in Veteran's hospitals.
3,000 dead in the WTC.  500,000 dead from sanctions under Saddam.  1,600
dead American soldiers in Iraq.  15?,000 wounded.  300,000? dead in the
Tsunami.  100,000? dead Civlians in Iraq.  The death? statistics are
astounding.  The reasons are myriad.

I'm sitting here staring at the wall.  I think it was Sandra Dee that just
went also recently that I saw no mention of here.  Anyway, Hunter just blew
his brains out.  That was strange.  I wonder sometimes, sometimes I think,
hmmm, I can't wait to get back to LA, maybe I'll find a woman, maybe I'll
have children (not likely, but one can dream, lol), then I hear of a lady in
Houston drowning her 5 kids, a lady in Dallas cutting off her kid's arms,
etc etc etc, and then Beth here in my little town takes a shotgun, sticks it
in her mouth, and pulls the trigger.

Hey, God, yo, you can send all those children and all those women to my
house, they can stay here with me and the cats and dogs and live out a nice
happy safe life even if I have to walk down main street naked (or something)
every day to bring a smile to their faces.  What's your problem, man...?

Stop letting people hurt, decapitate, disect, shoot, stab, strangle,
mutilate, rape, shake to death, suffocate, poison, runover, kill, drown,
murder and etc others and themselves, you're starting to piss me off.

If it's not you, God, doing it, then put the *ssh*le on the line who is.

"It's for you..."

"Thanks, God, yes, this is George here..."

"George..?  Bush, the President...?"

"Yes, this is me...  What can I do for you...?"

"You f*cking c*cks*cker...."

< Click.     beep beep beep beep beep beep.... >

"Wow, heh, how rude, he hung up..."

"Don't look at me, George, you're the one that wanted to be President..."

"Oh, yeah, God, nevermind, hehe..."

Ah, yeah, that brings me back to my friend Jerry down here who spent 14
years stuck in a wheelchair paralyzed from the neck down trying to be an
activist with hope in his heart on the Internet drumming up interest for
stem cell research typing his soul out one letter of the alphabet at a time
with a little stick in his mouth.

Until his brain simply finally swelled up inside his skull and exploded.

Hmmm, this must be "death reminder" night.    :|

I guess, every now and then you sometimes gotta write something about
someone who dies.

But there's so many, in every country, dying all the time, it never stops,
you start to wonder, what the f*ck.

Is this really just a chrysalis we are walking around in waiting to ascend
to a brighter and newer being in another form after we die, or is this a
prison we are tortured in, desecrated in, and finally killed in, in one way
or another, and this is really something like either Hell or a prison planet
run by multiple dimensional aliens or something.

:o

Anyways, the weekend Cheeseburger rant....

50 million are expected to be infected in Africa alone by HIV soon...?

8 million or more are fully expected to die in some vast "Flu Pandemic" they
are now talking about, spread by, among other things I believe, simple
birds.

Overdoses, beatings to death, car accidents, diseases of all kinds, murders,
suicides, natural disasters, wars, epidemics, nuclear fallout, pesticides,
food additives, hormones, antibiotics, genetically engineered etc, absestos,
lead, poisonings, millions of people everywhere, day after day, mercury in
the food, overfishing, ozone holes, acid rain, smog, global warming,
ecocide, microwave waves etc inundation, death by mosquito bearers, flus and
viruses evolving to evade treatment, choking on a piece of food, falling
down stairs, slipping on the ice, being set up and killed in the woods for
crack money and your tennis shoes, cutting your babies' head off, being
tasered to death, living in Guantanamo or somewhere until they just kill
you, being beaten to death in an American prison, on and on and on the list
of the ways people go, and are going, have gone, and will be going, millions
and millions and billions and etc.

I was just thinking....  With all the things that can kill us and are
killing us every day of our lives, it is a wonder that we even walk around
to begin with sometimes I muse.

I would like to be busy living instead of busy dying, but this is the worst
play I have ever seen, and if I find the director, I am going to fire his
*ss.

I guess, if I had my way about it, I wouldn't mind being f*cked to death.

Anyway, back to beautiful girls blowing their brains out with shotguns.

I used to play tennis here long ago in high school, and Beth was one of the
best female tennis stars we had.  Actually if you weren't *really* good, you
couldn't make the tennis team to begin with, lol.

She wore these nice short skirts on the tennis courts as did the other
girls, but, alas, for the most part, I was just too young to take *real*
notice and was throwing all my skills into this new thing called Tennis,
lol.

She was good.  The tennis instructor here, his son went on to win State
championship of Texas in tennis, I can't remember if Beth went on to win
that or not.  I do remember that I basically couldn't beat any of them ever
for the most part, heh, but that I had such a good serve, that I could even
beat the guy's sone on every serve, so he matched me up with him just to
drive him crazy with my serve, until finally one day, the guy who went on to
be State champion was able to return my serve, lol.

Hey, I figured since I knew I couldn't beat any of them in a game, the
smartest thing to do was just not let them ever hit the ball.     :|

Anyway, I went on to my life, and Beth, and all the rest, went on to her
life.

I don't really know why she did it, but someone told me that she was
depressed about a recent Divorce.

She was a few years younger than me, really pretty girl.  Never saw her ever
do anything bad to anyone.  She was wealthy, stood to inherit quite a sum in
the future, and well, I just don't know...

I would have walked down the street naked for her if it would have made a
difference.

But now, it's just too late.

Life is apparently not just only "not fair" sometimes, but many of us spend
each waking and sleeping moment trying to avoid dying from one cause or
another.

Until "death" in "old age" takes us, from one "cause" or another.

Wouldn't it be funny if death from old age was just another illusion, part
of a grand lie, just a segment of the torture, and we really can live
forever in these amazing bodies, fully healthy and happy, but we too, in all
our education, experience, and intelligence, are suckers to the very end.

Well, it's nice to dream sometimes anyway...

"Ok, here they are, Cheeseburger..."

"Here are what, Karl (Rove)...?"

"My shoes..."

"What do I want with your shoes, Karl...?"

"To drink champagne from them, Cheeseburger, and taste the sweet taste of
the victory of the liberation of Earth as I have...  And become one with
us..."

"You're a charmer to the very end, Karl..."

"Yes, heh, I know..."

And nobody is ever to blame.

For anything.

Victory is ours.  Forever.

I tell you what, if someone had a chance, the cash, and the ability to make
a worldwide communication channel that does not exist today that would
actually wake up, educate, and literally help those who watched, listened
to, or read it, it would be at least something, no matter how much it cost
to build it, to learn someday that someone did not blow their head off with
a shotgun because they turned on their tv and saw something or picked up
something from their coffee table and read something on it that made them
laugh right as they were thinking of crossing over to the other side.

But there is no one there to stop them and say "Wait, people still need you
and your talents desperately, it is not yet your hour..."

And all the money, fame, and "love" in the world does not seem to make a
difference.

It has come to the point long ago that Ignorance is definitely not Bliss.

Nor is lack of communication Heaven, but rather, inevitable, always the
inverse.

Oh well, there you go, just a little tribute ditty to some lady who lived 50
or so years on this planet, was well to do, had everything to live for, got
depressed over a Divorce, and killed herself, but who I will always also
remember as that beautiful healthy little girl with the great legs in that
short skirt knocking the crap out of that tennis ball over the net like a
cruise missile on a blue sky day with the sun shining off her hair.

"Fear me oh Death, and everything in between, for your powers exceeded your
heart much too long ago."

Cheeseburger

- Sing Muses, sing Graces, sing Fates, another has taken to wing.

_______________________________________________
Mb-civic mailing list
Mb-civic at islandlists.com
http://www.islandlists.com/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/mb-civic