[Mb-civic] SFGate: Why I'm joining the GOP/Leaving the left for fun and profit

[Bryan Peterson]

 Yep, it's true. I think I'll become a Republican just like the writer of
this article! : )
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This article was sent to you by someone who found it on SFGate.
The original article can be found on SFGate.com here:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/05/29/INGJPCU3GL11.DTL 
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Sunday, May 29, 2005 (SF Chronicle)
Why I'm joining the GOP/Leaving the left for fun and profit
Jeff Gillenkirk


   After a lifetime voting for and working for Democratic candidates and
independents, I'm finally going to make the switch and become a
Republican.

   The reasons are many, not the least of which is age. I turned 55 recently
and, having lived more than half my life, I can't afford to worry anymore
about the other guy. It's time for me.
   As a Republican, I can now proudly -- indeed, defiantly -- pledge to never
again vote for anyone who raises taxes for any reason. To hell with roads,
bridges, schools, police and fire protection, Medicare, Social Security
and regulation of the airwaves.
   President Bush has promised to give me more tax cuts even though our
federal government owes trillions of dollars to its creditors. But that's
someone else's problem, not mine. Republicans are about the here and now,
and I'm here now.
   As a Republican, I can favor exploiting the environment for everything
she's got. No need to worry about quaint notions like posterity and
natural legacy. There are plenty of resources left for everyone, and if we
don't use them, someone else will.
   I want a party that doesn't worry about things before we have to.
Republicans refuse to get hog-tied by theories such as global warming,
ozone depletion, fished-out oceans and disappearing wetlands. The real
problems -- if there are any -- aren't forecast to take hold for at least
50 years. So what do I care? I'll be dead.
   As a Republican, I can swagger and clamor for war -- in Iraq, Afghanistan,
Colombia, wherever -- even though I've never fought in one or even been in
the military. I can claim that we're fighting for Democracy, ignoring
reports of torture at Abu Ghraib, Bagram Air Base and Guantanamo Bay, and
a spreading gulag of secret detention centers around the world.
   Freedom, as every American should know after spending $300 billion for
wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, isn't free.
   As a Republican, I can insist on strict moral values when it comes to sex
and ignore the growing moral chasms in business, politics, sports,
journalism and the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church.
   A society that loses control of its sexual urges faces unwanted
pregnancies, socially transmitted disease, broken families. Those
overzealous about wealth, however, produce only a higher GDP, lifelong
security for their family and more minimum wage jobs for the lower
classes. What's wrong with that?
   As a Republican, I can favor strict punishment of criminals, except for
those who happen to be my friends or neighbors. Isn't that the very
definition of community -- looking out for friends and family?
   I will be pro-death penalty and anti-abortion, pro-child but anti-child
care, for education but against funding of public schools. As a
Republican, I'll have a better chance of getting to spout my opinions in
the media, which for some reason seems convinced that since Bush was
re-elected with the smallest electoral margin of any sitting president in
history, liberals are passe.
   As a Republican, I'll say goodbye to "old Jesus" and hello to "new Jesus.
" Sure Christ started out as a liberal Jew, and look where that got him.
Compassion, love and diatribes against the rich only encourage the weak
and punish the most successful among us. The Jesus that Republicans
worship is a muscular, decisive, pro-war crusader hard at work cleansing
the world of evildoers, not, God forbid, turning the other cheek.
   My decision to become a Republican didn't come easily. For years I clung
to the idea that the foundation of a democratic society was our implied
social contract, each of us committing some level of personal sacrifice to
the common good of all.
   I regarded taxes as dues we pay for better roads and schools, safe
inspection of meat and dairy products, maintenance of parks and protection
of wilderness areas. I see now that looking out for the common good
resulted in shortchanging the most important element in this formula --
me.
   Let Democrats continue promising the "greatest good for the greatest
number." Republicans clearly have my number -- No. 1.
   I'm sure a lot of my friends reading this will ask me, "How can you
sleep?" My answer will be, "Who's got time? I'm busy earning money." While
they're bellyaching about rising deficits, the outsourcing of jobs and
casualties in Iraq, I'll be marveling at the march of freedom in the
Middle East, upticks in the GDP and the president's plan to link Social
Security to the magic of the marketplace.
   As a Republican, I simply won't listen to bad news anymore. Bad news
doesn't get me or my family anywhere. If you don't have anything good to
say about somebody, don't say anything at all -- unless it happens to be
about a Democrat, of course.
   Jeff Gillenkirk was a speechwriter for former New York Gov. Mario Cuomo.
He lives in San Francisco. Contact us at insight at sfchronicle.com. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2005 SF Chronicle