[Mb-civic] Republican Creed

[Reeeees at aol.com]

Things you have to believe to be a  Republican today.....

Jesus loves you, and shares your  hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when  Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy
made war on him, a good guy  when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy 
when Bush needed a "we can't  find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country  is Communist, but trade with
China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of  international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United  Nations, and our highest
national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions  against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body,  but
multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind  without
regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to  praise the troops in speeches,
while slashing veterans' benefits and combat  pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have  sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies,  then 
demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all  Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health 
care to all Americans is socialism.  HMOs and insurance companies have the best 
interests of the public at  heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but  
creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an  extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but 
a president lying to enlist  support for a war in which thousands die is 
solid defense  policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the  Constitution, 
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the  Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades,  but George 
Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug  addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a 
conservative radio host.  Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your 
recovery.

What  Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what 
Bush did  in the '80s is irrelevant.

Friends don't let friends vote  Republican.

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