[Mb-hair] Lenny sent this

[Michael Butler]

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Subj: chemistry proves hell and heaven, very funny thesis!



You have to read this one all the way through..... I'm still laughing!!!

>

>

> Subject: can this be true?

>

> The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University

> of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so

> "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the

> Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of

> enjoying it as well.

>

>

> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

> (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs

> using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is

> compressed) or some variant.

>

> One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how

> the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at

> which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are

> leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to

> Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

>

> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

> Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state

> that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do

> not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go

> to Hell.

>

> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of

> souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of

> change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order

> for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume

> of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives

> two

> possibilities:

>

> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

> until all Hell breaks loose.

>

> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes

> over.

>

> So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa

> during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I

> sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her

> last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell

> is exothermic and has already frozen over.

>

> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it

> follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,

> extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a

> divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh

> my God."

>

> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A


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