[Mb-hair] NYTimes.com Article: Courting the Finicky Women

Fri Oct 15 10:38:56 PDT 2004

The article below from NYTimes.com 
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Courting the Finicky Women

October 15, 2004
 By MAUREEN DOWD 

I'm just not that into them. 

I could apply all the rationalizations women use to make
excuses for men who are clearly not their dream guys from
the new best seller "He's Just Not That Into You," by two
former "Sex and the City" writers: 

"It's better than nothing." "It's just the way he was
brought up." "He just says things he doesn't mean." "He's
got a lot on his mind." "Maybe he's intimidated." "He's
just finding himself." 

But in the end, I'm forced to admit, I'm just not that into
them. 

The third debate date with Long-Faced Guy and Mini-Me was
not particularly gratifying, edifying or electrifying.
Neither the robotic Kerry (still struggling to land an open
punch on a president divorced from reality) nor the
herky-jerky Bush (still struggling to find an appealing
onstage persona) seemed presidential or inspiring. 

The two candidates were trying for sparks on Wednesday
night, jousting over the 61 percent of undecided voters who
are women, such as the single women, the security moms and
the Medicare grandmas. 

John Kerry and George W. Bush remembered the ladies with
bouquets of uxoriousness and spirituality. 

It was a contest to see who was closer to his family and
who was closer to God. Sounding like a New Age guru, Mr.
Kerry burbled: "I think we have a lot more loving of our
neighbor to do in this country and on this planet."
Sounding like Moses, he intoned: "We're all God's children,
Bob." 

The two gentlemen callers competed to offer the sweetest
encomiums to their wives and daughters, though Mr. Kerry
showed the bite in his overwhitened, overeager "I'm smarter
than you but I'm trying not to show it" grin when he
strategically dragged Dick Cheney's gay daughter back into
the debate, a dead-wrong thing to do. 

The president - realizing that it's not enough to simply
scare women to death about their kids by letting his creepy
vice president put out his spooky threat that there will be
more terrorist attacks if Mr. Kerry is elected - wooed
women voters with a reminiscence that sounded like a gauzy
Lifetime movie scene: love-at-first-sight over the burgers.

"I can't tell you how lucky I am when I met her in the
backyard of Joe and Jan O'Neill in Midland, Tex.," Mr. Bush
recalled. "It was the classic backyard barbecue. O'Neill
said, 'Come on over, I think you'll find somebody who might
interest you.' So I said all right, bopped over there.
There's only four of us there. And not only did she
interest me, I guess you could say it was love at first
sight." 

Mr. Kerry tried to show more anima than Mr. Bush by talking
about the strong moral compass provided by his wife and
daughters and throwing in a sentimental tribute to his late
mom: "And just before I was deciding to run and she was in
the hospital, and I went in to talk to her and tell her
what I was thinking of doing. ... And she just looked at me
and she said, 'Remember: integrity, integrity, integrity.'
Those are the three words that she left me with." 

After too much time spent on chummy talk about wives and
not enough spent on tart talk about stem cells and on how
the president and vice president should not be considered
authorities on foreign policy or national security, given
their dismal performance in these areas, I was missing the
unsentimental fireball Howard Dean, whose wife never even
showed up to see him campaign until the press made a fuss
about it. 

Wednesday's exchange was saintly, and Tweedledee and
Tweedledum. The rivals, dressed in almost identical reddish
polka-dot ties and the inevitable flag lapel pins, sparred
with equally lame lines: Tony Soprano versus the Left Bank.

Watching Mr. Bush's tired retread of his dad's barbs
against Michael Dukakis (He's a liberal! He's a liberal!
He's from Massachusetts! He's on a first-name basis with
Teddy Kennedy! Teddy Kennedy!), I found myself longing for
some original moment. If only Mr. Kerry, who follows Mr.
Bush's lead too much, had broken out with a Looney Tunes
lapel pin. 

Or if Mr. Kerry had only taken off after Mr. Bush when he
began ranting that "only a liberal senator from
Massachusetts would say that a 49 percent increase in
funding for education was not enough." 

Mr. Kerry should have at least tried to pierce Mr. Bush's
nimbus of mendacity on Iraq and Saddam and Al Qaeda and the
economy, and reached for a dramatic moment - à la Captain
"Ah, but the strawberries" Queeg, or Jack "You can't handle
the truth" Nicholson - by riposting, "Only a delusional
frat boy from Crawford. ..." 

Then I could have gotten into them. 

E-mail:
liberties at nytimes.com 

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/15/opinion/15dowd.html?ex=1098861936&ei=1&en=ff158ec1f8feec99

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