[Mb-hair] Inauguration Schedule

[SharmagneS at aol.com]

         Inaugural Schedule
6-9 AM: Citizens along the parade route are interrogated and strip searched.
10 AM: Attorney General John Ashcroft leads the Abu Ghraib Tabernacle Choir 
in "Onward Christian Soldiers."
10:30 AM: Colin Powell interrogated and strip searched.
11 AM: All Iraqi election officials granted asylum, interrogated and strip 
searched.
Noon: Dick Cheney sworn in, exorcised.
1 PM: Grand jury investigating Tom DeLay sent to Guantanamo for questioning.
2 PM: U.S. Poet Laureate reads ?Oh Captain, My Captain,? specially rewritten 
as a tribute to Ken Lay.
3 PM: The "Getting Tough on Corporate Crime" float, featuring Martha Stewart 
in stocks, passes reviewing stand.
4 PM: Bush takes oath, gives speech, "Ask Not What Your Country Can Do to 
You, When the Only Thing You Have to Fear is Your Country, Itself."
5-Midnight: Pharmaceutical Industry Soiree, Energy Industry Banquet, 
Insurance Companies Gala, U. S. Chamber of Commerce Bacchanal.
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