[Mb-hair] FW: Red & Blue states to divide!

[Jonathon Johnson]

Woo Hoo! So glad to be a New Californian!
 
Thanks for sharing Jim and Michael!
 
Peace and blessings ~ Jonathon

Michael Butler <michael at michaelbutler.com> wrote:

------ Forwarded Message
From: Jim Rado 
Date: Mon, 20 Jun 2005 20:04:25 -0700 (PDT)
To: Michael Butler 
Subject: Fwd: Red & Blue states to divide!


Note: forwarded message attached.

Michael good blogs - I thought you had to see the
attachement...it's what you could call a totally
entertaining idea...j




------ End of Forwarded Message

Date: Mon, 20 Jun 2005 00:21:57 -0400
From: Ira Landgarten <iraland at earthlink.net>
To: iraland at earthlink.net
Subject: Red & Blue states to divide!

Dear Red States

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've 
decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're 
taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, 
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We 
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to 
the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red 
states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the 
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a 
bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and 
antiwar, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at 
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.

They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths 
for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their 
children's caskets coming home We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope 
that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in 
Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 
percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the 
pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 
percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state 
dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, 
most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and 
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Princeton, Harvard, 
Yale, Stanford, CalTech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 
88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care 
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the 
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern 
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, 
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah 
was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred 
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say 
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 
9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with 
higher morals than we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too.
You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,
the happy citizens of
New California.


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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good HAIR Days: A Personal Journey with the American Tribal Love-Rock Musical HAIR, by Jonathon Johnson. For more information on the book and how to order it, visit www.goodhairdays.net. 




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