[Mb-hair] saving the world

[IHHS at aol.com]

Noah...again 
In  the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in  New  
Zealand,  and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and 
 I see the end of all flesh before me.  
Build  another Ark  and save two of every living thing along with a few good 
humans."
He  gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the  Ark 
before I  will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
Six months later,  the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard.... 
but no ark.  
"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!  Where is the Ark  ?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed.
-  I  needed a building permit.
-  I've been arguing with the inspector about  the need for a sprinkler 
system.
-  My neighbours claim that I've  violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by 
building the Ark in my  yard and exceeding the height limitations. 
-  We had to go to Resource  Management for a decision.
-  Then the electricity companies demanded a  bond be posted for the future 
costs of moving power lines and other overhead  obstructions, to clear the 
passage for the Ark's move  to the sea. 
-  I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they  would hear nothing 
of it.

Getting the wood was another  problem.
-  There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the  spotted owl.
I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood  to save the 
owls.  But no go! 

When I started gathering the animals,  I got sued by an animal rights group.
They insisted that I was confining wild  animals against their will.
As well, they argued the accommodation was too  restrictive and it was cruel 
and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined  space. 

Then The Environmental Department  ruled that I couldn't  build the Ark until 
 they'd conducted an environment! al impact study on your proposed  flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights  Commission on 
how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.  

Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to  hire 
only Union workers with Ark building  experience.

To make matters worse, the Tax Dept seized all my assets,  claiming I'm 
trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.  

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to  finish 
this Ark."

Suddenly  the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched 
across the  sky.

Noah  looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy 
the  world?".

"No," said  the Lord. "The government beat me to it."    



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